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I feel so not good enough in my relationship. What should I do?

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Posted by a RealYou user

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months but we fight all the time. I am afraid he will leave me for someone else. I feel really jealous of other girls who get his attention and no matter how hard I try I just don't feel I am good enough. What should I do?

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Comments (1)

@realyou 10 months ago

Hi there

Firstly, I don't know a single girl who hasn't felt at least a tinge of jealousy from time to time! You aren't alone.

What I suggest is to pluck up the courage to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. Tell him in a calm way that you feel not good enough at times and it's hard because although you don't want to, you feel jealous because of it. Tell him that you really want to work on it but in the meanwhile his support would mean a lot to you. Vulnerability and honesty, although scary, is what helped me when I was in a similar situation and if your boyfriend really cares about you he will want to consider your feelings. Try to be mature and not to blame him (or yourself) as you share.

Trying hard only makes you feel more tense and the attention never lasts long. If you don't get the recognition you are hoping for, it makes you feel worse. Do everything you can to drop your comparisons to other girls and focus on being YOU. We are all unique and beautiful, and that beauty only grows when we are confident enough to be ourselves.

Lastly, do everything you can to be kind to yourself and consider delving deeper (with the help of a person you trust or a counsellor), into why it is that you don't feel good enough. That feeling of not "enough" actually has nothing to do with your relationship to boyfriend but to do with your relationship to yourself. For example; if you were to break up with your boyfriend, that same pattern of feeling not good enough will still be there in future experiences unless you look at the cause and learn how to release those feelings. That is something we are all capable of doing!

Please, feel free to contact us if you would like to book an appointment or discuss your feeling/relationship further.

Sending much love and hugs xx

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